Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!

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(703): View more from Virginia

He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.

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(914): View more from New York

Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?

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(214): View more from Texas

could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.

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(541): View more from Oregon

well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick

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(905): View more from Ontario

You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing

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