So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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