On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
sex in a hospital.. check
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
