I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
