census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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