So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
