haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
honey bunches of taint.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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