Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
