He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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