i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
