Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
