I cockslap morals
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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