no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
