i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
