i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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