help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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