I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
