There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
