yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
