i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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