me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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