why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
