I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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