He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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