need another drink. this is the easiest way
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
if only i could text you this smell
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
