I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
