remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
