TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
