i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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