she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
do nipples grow back?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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