We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
that's an acceptable place to lick
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
