when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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