i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
