Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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