i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
