I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
