K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
