I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
