So drunk its hurt
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
