no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
