Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
