I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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