Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
