i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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