The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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