I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
