okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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