I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
