I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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