hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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